253 days…

I am still wrapping my head around the fact that she isn’t going to come through the front door at any moment…its’ just so crazy and surreal. I mean I know its all real but its only been 253 days and yet its been 253 days already. So many different ways to feel it, see it, live it, express it and unfortunately embrace it. I understand to be able to get back into life and this new reality I have to allow and embrace the pain that goes alone with losing my baby girl and I’d like to believe I am doing the best I can with this. Good days, bad days, hard moments, but all moments that are because I am allowing the feelings, emotions, pain and even joy with the memories (soo many awesome memories). And while there are “manuals” out about grief and the “how to’s”, no two people grief, heal or recover the same.