Its so hard to imagine these past 212 days and how I, we, all of us have found our ways through, since the loss of Sydney. I am absolutely 100% sure that each of us has had hard, emotional days and moments. Sometimes I still am unable to look at her picture because it makes my cry. Other days the pictures provide me with an inner strength. I no longer get upset with myself for these feelings, I simply allow them to flow as they need to and then pick myself up and keep moving forward.

A little bit of why…

As most of you know, Sydney would have been 22 years young on September 7th and we would have done something fun and memorable to bring in the next great year. But with her gone, I can’t imagine not doing something to commemorate the beauty and joy she brought to all of us during her 21 years with us. So we decided to start an annual “celebration of her life”! We would love for everyone that loved Sydney to join us for this evening of sharing their stories of how they knew her and what they loved about her and just have a night together in her honor.

Dedication – many people have asked me, “where can I go to “visit her and sit with her”? So we thought about it and the first thing that came to mind was a big teal blue adirondack chair sitting in the sand!!! SHE WOULD LOVE THAT!!! But then we thought about the distance to the beach and wanted people to be able to visit her more often than once or twice a year. Then it came to me again, the Trappe Tavern’s beach!! SHE LOVED IT THERE! And so many of her friends work there! It’s perfect!

An update…how did we get to online fundraising?

Well, I sent out an event invite on facebook to everyone I have contact with on facebook (and please, if I missed a friend, please let them know!) and we planned on just having a box that if people wanted to donate to help support the ability to go “annual” with this event, that would be amazing!! But I have had a few people message me about the ability to donate on line. GENIUS!! So I took a few hours to look into what that would take and here we are! So now we will have the box at the Trappe on the 7th and the ability online.

We planned on holding this event regardless of participation because it means so very much to me that Sydney is remembered and stays alive and is celebrated on her special day she took her first breath. But when we were asked about donating online, I was touched by the gesture of helping despite the possibility of someone not being able to attend but still wanted to help. It brought tears to my eyes. So much love…

IF you go to the online link, please know those sites make you choose an amount. So forgive us for seeming forward. This is about coming together as Sydney’s family. If you are able, thank you for your kindness. If you are unable, we love you and please still come and celebrate. Maybe you can help next year!

Much love…

After having many conversations with people since sending out this invite for Sydney’s birthday I want to be sure everyone understands my “logic”. I want…No I NEED to do this. There is not a day that passes that I don’t have some kind of emotional moment, so I absolutely cannot imagine waking on September 7^th, Sydney’s 22^nd birthday and doing nothing!! That may possibly kill me!

 

This journey has been an incredible emotional roller coaster and I am doing all I can to honor her; the beauty, the light, the life of a remarkably inspiring and joy filled being. I might have said I was bias, being her mom and best friend, but as people reach out to me and share their stories and memories of her and how they too are so devastated by the loss of her, I know we all have been biased in our own ways. THAT is part of what we are coming together to share on the 7^th.

 

Is it too early to celebrate or feel like a “party”? It will probably always feel too early, I mean will it ever be a joyous gathering? I hope someday we will do what they did in the movie “Phenomenon” with John Travolta. Different circumstances, but they celebrated the beauty of his life and shared how he touched them and made a difference. That is what I am shooting for. Sydney loved to celebrate life and she could in the simplest of ways, as long as she was with the people she loved.

 

So…perhaps this is a way of having many caring shoulders around in a time of anticipated weakness? Maybe I know deep down inside that I need people, HER PEOPLE” around me on that day and this is my way of doing that. I can guarantee you and I will cry and find ourselves experiencing many emotions (I do this now, everyday); seeing people I love and people that love Sydney, and enough so, to come and pay tribute and share some of their heart with me and others that love her…. to simply do nothing on the day of her birth…I just can’t do that. My baby girl is gone… So maybe many shoulders IS a part of this, so for those that come, thank you for your love, your support, your stories and your strength.