April 26, 2017

In memory of Sydney (123 days), in honor of Aubrey & Kevin, and in sharing an incredible living example of all the Core Values (listed below) I strive to live and share with my clients and in workshops to “harness the power of love”…

My oldest and beautiful daughter Aubrey’s wedding anniversary is coming up in May, May 22nd. It will be 2 years that they have been married and if I do say so, they seem very happy and in love. Looking back, if I didn’t (AND I ALMOST DIDN’T) practice those values, we would have had a very different version of what their wedding would have been. You see, when Kevin came to ask me for Aubrey’s hand in marriage I said “yes…but in 3 years”. I shared with him all of MY reasons why they should wait and I believe because of how we (me, the girls and Kevin) communicated and shared and their trust in me and my guidance, he lovingly and without hesitation said ok. Remarkable really, when I look back. Well, after we hugged and he left I put it aside, but something was not sitting well within me.

The next morning I woke as I always do, with a clear head and with the answers of truth, without my ego having a chance to get in the way, and I realized what was not sitting well within me the day before. I was very clearly NOT practicing the core values I had taught my girls nor that I believe I practice myself. I just asked my daughter to wait 3 years to marry, put her life on hold because of my insecurities, fears, my “what if’s”. In that instant I felt shame and immediately knew the plan to right the wrong. I called the kids (because they were kids!!) together and explained to them what I had done and my reasons. I told them if they wanted to get married then do so! “What’s the worst thing that could happen I said!” So the wedding planning began. And in 8 SHORT WEEKS, we had a wedding! Sidebar…I remember when I was proposing a toast to the happy couple, I made a little joke so as to put inquiring minds/assumptions to rest about the rush of the wedding and ensuring everyone that there was “no bun in the oven”. But when you’re in love, why wait!! Life is short. I had no idea at the time how appropriate a statement that was.

The wedding was outstanding!! We had so many people, family and dear friends, help put the details in place; the food was prepared by our dearest friends, the cupcakes and cake where made by Sydney for her favorite (and only) sister and was very excited to be her maid of honor (despite having to wear a long purple dress!) and I had the privilege of walking my sweet daughter down the isle. What a proud moment for me. My girls there together, (almost) all grown up and showing their love to all who where in attendance. It was a simple yet beautiful event. PERFECT in every way. That was 2 years ago. This year my beautiful daughter and her kind-hearted husband will celebrate their 2nd year together and I am so happy for them both. They bought a house about a year ago so they are living their American dream.

Here is the kicker…the realization came to us…came to me, recently that IF I would have not come to my senses and had forgone my core values (out of fear) that I strive to live and teach…we would have had a very different scenario. Asking myself now, “what’s the worst thing that can happen”…that would have been if I had enforced the “wait 3 years” rule for marriage, we would not have had Sydney with us May 22, 2017…

A painfully honest admission – I ALMOST made one of the biggest mistakes of my life WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN A MAJOR REGRET!!!! I almost allowed my fear of “what if” overshadow my values and who I am. Please, never let your fears come in the way of how you parent. “Let go” of the outcome, “their” outcome and allow your children to live as they choose. The choice and consequence is theirs. TRUST IN YOU and your ability to parent and teach (live by example). Communicate unconditionally with those you love. Let them know why you hesitate or decide not to do something so they understand. Be honest with yourself; is that decision for you OR FOR THEM? Spend the time; talking, sharing, listening. Live by example, never judge. And remove the masks; don’t worry about what people might think. Do what you feel is best for you and your loved ones. Communicate that with compassion and love, NEVER with ego. Live a life with no regrets…

Learn to live within these values to harness the power of love; Be honest with yourself & others, Removing the Masks, Unconditional Communication, Live by example, Quality Time, Breaking the Lineage and Learning to “Let Go” & finally, What’s the worst thing that could happen. The result is harnessing love and no regrets.