September 7, 2017 – Happy Birthday my love

Sydney would have been 22 years young today.

She always loved her birthday. Not because of gifts but because of the changes it signified in the year to come. She looked forward to all that each year was going to allow her to explore, along with the endless possibilities and adventures. And let’s not forget it meant MORE quality time together! And cake!!! She loved cake (and cheesy fries)!

Sydney had a zest for life, she loved to laugh and always new just what to say, no matter what the situation. She had the tendency to undersell herself and the value she added to others, which I believe is how she was able to be as humble as she was.

She LOVED her big sister and hanging out with her, even as they both got older and acted like they bugged each other! They always looked out for each other and every picture I have of the two of them they are arm in arm or just so obviously happy to be together. As they got older, they involved each other in their plans of growth and new chapters (Syd has/had her very own bedroom, you guessed it, aqua blue walls, at her sisters new house)…it was a joy as a mother to witness.

She was proud of me and of our relationship and shared our closeness with her friends. As she got older and was interested in stretching her wings, whenever she would get home, she had this amazing way of always making me a part of her adventures and was excited to share with me, ensuring our closeness would always remain.

While she appeared to sometimes have a tough exterior, that was her protection from having been walked out on or let down in the past. It didn’t take but a smile and an honest, heartfelt statement from you for her to let you in completely, hook, line and sinker. She loved you vulnerably from this moment on. She would go the distance for anyone she called friend or family and I have heard many stories that consistently prove this statement true, again and again.

Syd had this funny way about her. She was incredibly witty and had the one liners ready like she was reading your mind! She was an antagonist simply because it was fun and I was probably her favorite target! She loved playing to my weaknesses and I loved falling for her ways. She was able to use her wit, with a sometimes necessary dose of tough love, to tell you what you needed to hear and you always hugged her and thanked her! Never did someone walk away upset or angry, they were grateful that she cared and had a cool way of delivering the sometimes painful message. She would always follow up with you later too, to ensure you were good and finding what you needed to keep shining bright! Whether she would have used these words to describe it or not, she loved getting to people’s inner light and was a natural at it!

Music was many things for Sydney; healing (not that she would have used that word) and freeing. Her reach of genres was impressive for her age and even at 9 and 10 she was surprising me with her “latest fav”. And as I am sure Aubrey would attest to, Sydney would have the lyrics memorized in no time and sing over and over and over and over again, sometimes out of sheer joy and sometimes to get us going! She was an imp to be sure.

Many names did she answer to but one she was proudest of was “the peacemaker”. Confrontation, angry words and harsh outcomes were not in her making. She had a way of keeping Aubrey and I “at bay” more than once during those famed teenage years and if it was getting loud in the kitchen, Sydney would break into song, “why can’t we be friends, why can’t we be friends”and Aubrey and I would just start laughing and just like that the situation was resolved and really didn’t seem like that big of a deal any longer. She practiced this uncanny ability with other family and friends too, and I have heard the stories to prove it!

Movies, like music, were something of a passion of Sydney’s. She loved learning the soundtracks to movies and often would take the situation or a scene from a movie and relate it to something happening in life. She and her sister share the love of Disney and between them have seen (and maybe even own) the majority of them. They would send each other quotes or pictures of movies just for kicks or so they would know how the other was feeling. They had their own language for sure.

Travel (and the beach!) was something Sydney couldn’t get enough of and, because of her grandparents, she had the good fortune of seeing things in the world that most kids her age had not seen. She has been to Russia, Germany, Prague, Bahamas, Mexico, Canada and many US states. She used to tease me to catch up on my traveling! I loved that she and Aubrey were so fortunate and that they were also extremely grateful for having these adventures.

Cousins! …remembering how important family is and was to Sydney, cousins were also her dear friends and she treasured them so. And cousins of all ages too. She loved the little ones as much as the ones that were her age. She was able to adapt to the younger ones and they loved her so, always feeling that she understood them and she knew exactly what they wanted, needed and how to muster the proper behavior when she would sit for them. I have many pictures of Sydney on the bottom of the pile of little kids, everyone having a fabulous time together.

Knowing herself…Sydney was a hard worker but a smart one too. She was fortunate to know at a young age what she was passionate about. The kitchen! Sydney was a foodie to be sure!! She would take crazy things and put them together and it would be strangely tasty. She loved to create in the kitchen and thought that someday she would have her own fusion bar with a wildly creative menu and me tending bar! She figured nothing could go wrong if we did it together!! And I would have been so happy to be a part of her dream. She did try a stent in another field of study, just to see if she was really really sure about the cooking/baking I think, but it was an awesome experience for her and she met some really terrific people during that period of her life. No matter what she was working towards, she worked hard but somehow made it seem effortless.

Her passion – Ultimately, for anyone that knew Sydney, you knew that people were her passion. It brought her great joy to experience people of all ages and stages of life and to get to know them at a depth that most can’t do at 50, let alone being in your teens and 20’s and doing it so naturally. Her warmth and genuine way of being was something you wanted to be around and somehow absorb and have with you always. She had this uncanny ability to listen, and to hear even what you weren’t saying, and then she was able to provide a fun or whimsical way to get you to see things differently that somehow made that obstacle no longer an obstacle. Then you felt able to move through it with a new found confidence. Pretty remarkable. She loved helping people find their happiness and understood it needed to come from within.

There is so so much more to share about Sydney in her 21 years and 3 months of life. But with what I did share, I hope I was able to communicate her winning secret; her heart, her love for all and just the joy she had for being here with us, the people she loved the most. She definitely understood and lived what mattered most to her. She kept life simple, didn’t have the need for material stuff, shed what no longer served, called it like she saw it and did what felt right to her soul. She was often my teacher and I will forever be grateful.

Happy Birthday my sweet girl. Love knows no limits, from here to there…wherever you may be flying off to today, this day of yours, September 7th.